omg, kill me now...December is hell!

Love is just so temporal, it will eventually subside...and when it does, when everything takes off for you, your career... when you have everything... money, fortune, fame... you will then make the decision. Thats when I know if you really want to be with me.

We're all busy marking something for ourselves, I am... and when I established something for myself, I'll be coming for you... Amongst all things, the mess others will create and have created , I'm glad you and I have the same understanding.

& thats what I mentioned way earlier.. this is the level I can reach with nobody else, only with you, thats why I chose to be with you.

so don't say you love me yet :)

Some relationships fail because some things change. I guess one moved... and the other probably stayed complacently the same? Or maybe it was just too late to know things were taken for granted? I am in no position to scrutinize what really went on, but I do know that ALL relationships breaks hearts; one way or another. There are winners and losers... Yet I believe everyone is moving onto their new lives and all of us will be happier.

I am not allowed to drive out today .. all because me and mum had this huge fight. Anyway hope it'll be fine when she's back on friday.. Hate people messing with my prerogatives... but my car is back in my arms :) 

Heh! Manage to reach back home last night at about 9pm having a good long drive back from KL. its darn good, esp when u're enjoying that every minute with your good friend.  Purpose of this trip is to get my 5D MARK II. OMG!!! so happy and i think i am very fortunate though i got hell nags from mum...

On Monday afternoon 3pm, me and dennis :) headed up to KL and we reached the place at abt 7pm. Got ourselves stay put at Bintang hotel. Initial plan was to get my camera settled and head back Singapore but had a sudden change of plan as my body battery is running flat. We, then decided to go to the stretch of long crowded seafood place for a good dinner.. our stomach were grumping like hell that point of time.

Aft dinner, we walked back to the hotel and thought of having an early sleep that night. But then, just opposite the hotel , we saw a pub with hell sexy gals dancin'.And.. that hotel is the hotel beside ours called "federal hotel". we went up and had an enjoyable time in the R&B live band pub. 

Thereafter, we went back hotel at abt 12am. 

Dennis, thank you for this friendship. i reckon this friendship will the best one ever. Thank you my good friend, brother. :)

The very next time if i asked whether u have read my blog.. and yr answer is "NO"... your name will appear

Pain grew silent but it runs deep. bad when you try to delete a person's contact only to realise you can actually memorise that person's number.

I asked if you read my blog.. u said u didn't. i felt like you were lying to me. But neverthless.. here u go:

i feel so bad for rejecting you but im sorry, i decided to keep u out of my life. It hurts too much with you in it.

For so many years that i've been with u. Yes, we've really went through ups and downs and i've enjoyed our friendship. Ever since you've changed, everything was different. How i wished you were like your old self.

i decided to shut u off because after several thoughts, i know being just a normal friend wouldn't work because you simply wouldn't allow it to happen.

Therefore, for time being... i might want to shut u off from my life. 

I NEED TO WRITE THIS OUT:

For a friend who will just know you for years and never get a chance to analyse your inner self, there would still be your good friend.(Their friendship with u is still shallow)

For a friend like me, or some smarter that left you.. i hope you put in effort to change because along the road down, you might not know who to turn to in future when u need help.I've also spent my time that previous day talking to you till about 4am.Those that you know will be good enough for you to change and reflect right now.

There are too many inperfections, to whom is concern. 

So.. yesterday I had lunch with my mum at Fairmont Hotel. Did last minute shopping with mom at msia.She was at her usual Estee Lauder store and trust me, it... was... really... boring... when ladies are shopping for their make-up stuffs. I was directing her every move not to buy cause mommy doesn't really do much make up.  Then after that, we drove to Muji at paragon cause we both needed toiletries. I managed to coax mommy to leather jacket from ARMANI X. Awwwww my birthday present! I was already eyeing on it yesterday it was too costly, but thanks mom, you're always the best!

Then after, headed to meet usual clique out for some hell fun photoshoots at Mount Faber and MBS. Tell you, its so fun OMG. hahaha... ok,and then i need to grant my grumpy stomach with his food he wanted. He was starving the whole day without food till about quite late night.OMG. FML.

Ok, and soon i will be uploading the pics after they're done.. guess you guys jus cant wait!!

I slept in the whole day.....

Anyway,  Big Oat Paragon for fish and it was awesome, with more awesome desserts. Yesterday I already gave in to JJ for asian food so now, western FTW. I hate chinese food actually. Hehe.. Anyway, definitely a great night today.  Its so good when we can have the WHOLE place to ourselves cause we can talk shit and do anything no one's gonna bother. I'm happy we're back to where we were, I'm so happy my best friend is back and we still talk like old times. The best part is that I can just look like shit and all of us comment at how shitty we all look and still have a good time! 

APAD (A PICTURE A DAY)

For whom is concern

We all have something to hide. Some dark place inside us we don’t want the world to see. So we pretend everything’s okay. Wrapping ourselves in rainbows. And maybe that’s all for the best, because some of these places are darker than others.I know it hurts. But it’s life, and it’s real. And sometimes it fucking hurts, but it’s life, and it’s pretty much all we got.

I'm not saying that I've giving up. I'm just trying not to think as much as I use to.

Photography is what you see with your eye and it goes so quick, that you don't even have to see it. To photograph means to paint with light. Mistakes are part of it. They are the poetry, the painterly quality. And for that you need a bad camera. If you want to be famous, you have to be worse in something, than anybody else in the world.

So always being sacastic..?

Sarcasm is a body's natural defense against stupid.

If you aren't going all the way, why go at all?

Before i forgotten , These are part of my birthday presents! Hahahaa...

Marina Barrage with Cousies

Omfg.... I overspent!! Totally obvious right; and it was on my last stop at ArmaniX -_- , while waiting for Rod to pick me up. Omg kill Rodday now!! Anyway.. I had a fun time today, I was suppose to be alone but JJ offered to accompany me and we had some cousins BFF bonding time! Unexpectedly! Had dinner at Crystal Jade then he left while I waited for Rod, drove down to Robertson Quay for some dessert. Last night was lava cake with Rebecca,Alicia. today another round! Sinful much!! But I loved it... however, was rather tired today so I went home straight after. 

i feel so bad for rejecting you but im sorry, i decided to keep u out of my life. It hurts too much with you in it.

For so many years that i've been with u. Yes, we've really went through ups and downs and i've enjoyed our friendship. Ever since you've changed, everything was different. How i wished you were like your old self.

i decided to shut u off because after several thoughts, i know being just a normal friend wouldn't work because you simply wouldn't allow it to happen.

Therefore, for time being... i might want to shut u off from my life. 

I NEED TO WRITE THIS OUT:

For a friend who will just know you for years and never get a chance to analyse your inner self, there would still be your good friend.(Their friendship with u is still shallow)

For a friend like me, or some smarter that left you.. i hope you put in effort to change because along the road down, you might not know who to turn to in future when u need help.I've also spent my time that previous day talking to you till about 4am.Those that you know will be good enough for you to change and reflect right now.

There are too many inperfections, to whom is concern. 

APAD

APAD (A PICTURE A DAY)

Omg, I just took a really good look at my alcoholic birthday presents. Up till now I don't know who gave me the bottle of Bacardi Gold, so whoever it is, please own up! Now! And Vivi really gave me a sexy bottle of white wine with 24k gold leaf! How noob could I be, I thought it was like glitter but its real gold leafs, bloody hell!